Depression: A (Kind of) Poem

DEPRESSION: A (KIND OF) POEM

To be depressed is to be condemned to see
Only the thorn upon the rose,
Only the skull beneath the skin,
Only the empty part of the glass,
Only the breakup at the end of the romance,
Only the dark cloud
And never the silver lining.

Martin Murphy
24/05/2010

Abandonment Issues

Recently I have been trying to write my own life story - mostly for therapy.  And it has been raising some painful issues. I was adopted at the age of about six months; I know nothing about my biological parents and don't want to know. My adoptive parents have been fantastic and I love them dearly. However I suspect that my adoption might be the cause of a sort of "abandonment issue" that I have now that I'm married. At the moment I am not working and my wife is; I get depressed even when she goes out to work! And the few times she has been away for longer periods (e.g. visiting her family overseas) I became very miserable and depressed. I tried to express this neediness in a short poem:
"Absence from you is a wound that does not heal
Until I see your dear little face again,
Until I feel your body warm against me."
My wife is the best thing in my life, God's greatest blessing to me. I just wish I wasn't quite so anxious and needy!

Getting started

Okay,  a few things to begin with. About myself: I was born in England but have lived in Australia most of my life. I am a (Roman) Catholic and a lot of this will be about my struggling with various religious issues - particularly the question of why God allows evil in this world, which I think is one of the most important questions that anyone who believes in a benign deity must face. I have a theology degree, and wanted to be a priest for a long time (I spent two years with a religious order, but am now happily married). I worked for more than twenty years in the Australian civil service but took a redundancy at the end of 2010. I am trying to become a Teacher of English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL, or TOEFL as it is called in some countries) but at the moment have a lot of time on my hands for blogging! Oh, and I also love science fiction, especially "Doctor Who" - that will no doubt  come up in these pages!
That's enough for starters.